Letter to the Editor: A special AI sauce



Artificial Intelligence — splash it on to enhance flavor and more. Fashion now sees it as rocket fuel, out-thinking its authors, boosting the stock market, promising to improve the gross national product while reducing the national deficit, even mining BITCOINS. Will its voracious appetite for energy reduce EV fill-ups? Is it just snake oil barked at a carnival? Can it provide solutions?  What if it turns on itself?

Take an instance of severe pain while sitting: Two new designer drugs promise relief. Can AI give advice on the side effects:

“stomach bleeding, headache, appetite loss, diminished libido, rash, ulcers, tics, cramps, increased blood pressure, irregular heartbeat,” to name a few?  SOLUTION: “Do not take if allergic,” “consult physician,” and, finally, “maintain balanced diet.”

“Let them eat cake” was not constructive in France a while back. Robots and algorithms now silently separate work applications into piles of “maybes” and “no.” What are the prospects for high school grads, blue collar workers and upper grads if humanoid robots make decisions, fix and serve hamburgers? If applicants fail to match preferred corporate profiles, will people adapt with ChatGPT workarounds, swelling the pool of desirable recruits, confusing the job screening machine? SOLUTION: “Face time” new algorithm for “show up and work hard” and “stop silent quitting.”

“Oh yeah, if you’re so smart, how come you’re not rich?” Chips, able to handle vast data loads and store them in “clouds,” promise to help select the best stocks. The “quants” (mere mortal mathematicians) who did their best await the outcome. Expect even more cycles of frenzy sure to drive the stock pickers insane? So many ups and downs that the stock exchange circuit breaker will produce a light show. SOLUTION: “Buy low, sell high.”

Sitting and scrolling will free people for better things. What things? Study how to avoid dementia? Eliminate cognitive testing for memory loss? Just ensure a person has a good relationship with the phone. The term “shrink” begins to lose its common meaning as the brain relaxes under new management. Even a new human profile is possible, more resembling our feathered friends. SOLUTION: Sick AI on itself.  “Stop me! Think for yourself.”

George Dill

Battle Ground