If you’re plantin’ humans, I’m packing my own lunch

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Earth worshipers, environmental enthusiasts, and some sentimental family members are excited at the prospect of composting human corpses, making granny an enduring aspect of the circle of life in their gardens and flower beds.

While this may sound very earth-conscious, those who scold us about man-caused pollution may want to reconsider this revolution in recycling.

Societies have made careful disposal of human remains a priority for thousands of years.

Corpses are usually buried deeply or fully incinerated, well away from human habitation.

This has not been done simply to accommodate religious beliefs, but for health reasons.

In modern society, we often hear about the accumulation and concentration of pollutants in the human body.

Like other creatures at the top of their food chain, this is occurring in humans.

Biohazards in dried blood, the brain, stomach, filtering organs, bones feces and other sources are known to be a medical reality.



Bacteria, viruses, microorganisms, toxins, heavy metals, radiological and other hazards are known to be present in human bodies.

Older bodies have accumulated them over a longer period of time.

While a generation has been trained to “save the earth,” honor our environment and spend time alongside the house sorting recyclables, we may want to evaluate the relative merit of cadavers in the garden.

A person who worries about mercury in their tuna may want to consider whether granny might be pushing up more than just daisies.

And if you decide to raise relatives in your garden, let me know before you invite me to dinner.

Hope you don’t mind if I just bring along some Burgerville food instead.