The end of high school is like another birth. You plunge yelling and flailing awkwardly into a too bright and sharp edged world that you are not at all sure you are prepared for.
The bad news is — you’re not. The good news is — you are connected and significant and prepared ways you are not aware of yet. Just ask anyone who has been through any of the big transitions in life, getting married, having kids, the first big job — it is all more terrifying and courage inducing than expected.
You can never prepare enough for the transitions you’ll face. But people who tell you this will also tell you that it doesn’t matter and it’s worth it. Toddling into each scary stage of life with boldness and courageous expectation — it works. Even when you stumble. All the glorious, painful adventures will be chapters in a fabulous story. Leaving high school is no different.
But you are. You are different. Different than you think. Different than everyone else and different than everyone thinks you are. You are capable of far more than the scared little voice you try to ignore.
There’s a rumor going around, a pervasive message telling you to go to college because that’s how you get the job that will provide you the security you need.
It’s not true. Actually, several parts of that message are not true. College is excellent, necessary and worth celebrating for some — but not all. There is purpose and value to the well swung hammer, the clean weld, the tuned engine and the smooth road. We rely every day on the craftsmen and craftswomen who create and maintain our structures, machines, roads and utility systems.
Some are destined for the workforce immediately after high school. Learning on the job, in apprenticeships, in trade schools, being mentored by the experts, and time in the trenches is worthy of honor and appreciation. Excellence is found everywhere.
Security is the other part that is not true. No matter what direction you head after high school, you will face the threat of job insecurity, relational insecurity, health insecurity and insecurity in all other areas. While it’s true that some choices are more inclined to lead to destructive outcomes, college is no guarantee. Insecurity exists for everyone. Put on your cape and walk through it.
I am not advocating against college. It’s a worthy endeavor. Investing in learning always is. But it’s more about your willingness to engage with curiosity and discipline than a piece of paper. All of us are responsible to engage with curiosity and discipline no matter what path we take at any point in life.
I am not advocating for purposeless wandering. Watching Netflix, playing Dark Souls III and picking up Dutch Bros. on your way back to your parents house from Little Caesars does not register on the “engage with curiosity and discipline scale.” This new birth experience is messy and difficult, but that’s no excuse to entertain and distract yourself until someone fixes it for you.
If you don’t know what to do yet, pick something and give it your very best shot. Talk your way into a job, save some money, hike the Pacific Crest Trail, go to India, sail the Panama Canal, dig clean water wells in the desert, join the Peace Corps, the military, learn how to build stuff, go paint in France, Argentina or Japan. Read some books. Watch some TED Talks. Teach yourself to play an instrument. The more experience you have, the better life you will lead.
Babies get nine months to prep. You’ve had 18 years. Take a deep breath, open your eyes, your ears, your mind, your heart and look around. No matter how good or bad things have been so far, this is next adventure is yours. You were born for it.
Seven really important things:
You’ll be figuring stuff out your whole life. Save some for later. You’ll be better at it then.
Doing what you like and doing hard things go together.
Some choices really are stupid. You know which ones they are. Don’t make those ones.
Pretty much everyone believes in “fake it till you make it” whether they admit it or not.
There is no substitute for a group of good, reliable friends. Make them. Keep them.
Old people know more than you — get them to tell you.
Love and forgiveness cannot be defeated.
Curtis Miller is the executive director of Connect BG, Inc., which has as a goal to be “A community of caring adults and kids partnered to transform lives by connecting Battle Ground.”
